I was just checking in with Mom-101 to see if she had her baby yet. She is being induced today, perhaps even having her baby as I write this.
I felt a little jealous as I was reading her last post before the birth of her second child. Jealous? Isn't that crazy?
I remember the anticipation before the birth of my babies. The excitement of the entire birthing process (see, you do forget the pain!). The emotion that involuntarily pours out of your body after the little one is born.
Meeting your child for the first time. Inspecting every inch of their body. Does he/she have daddy’s ears? Mommy’s eyes? The attention you get from all the well wishers who want to come congratulate you and see your newborn. The doting nurses who bring you water bottles with crushed ice (let’s just gloss over the ones that wake you at 1 am to give you another bag of antibiotics in your IV). The peri-bottle (am I the only one who didn't mind it?). That foggy state in the first few weeks when I had little appetite for anything other than a smoothie and I watched The Wedding Singer every single day.
I have this very romantic recollection of it all (interesting how the NICU, c-section complications, nursing struggles, pumping, baby blues, and lack of sleep have faded from their former prominent place in my memory). Which, on one hand, is nice. Who doesn’t want good memories to pull up every now and then?
On the other hand, it’s very bad for my ovaries. It makes them ache. I get an actual physical craving for a baby. Similar to a craving for chocolate, complete with that tingle in your mouth and the extra saliva. Only, it’s worse because I really don’t want to hold a big bar of chocolate. My arms begin to feel empty and I want to fill them up with a tiny little body whose shape molds to the contours of my arms. I want to hold his/her scrunched up little body with those little legs tucked up under his/her tummy against my chest. I want to take a nap with a sleeping baby snuggled up to my neck. I want to hear his/her little grunts and squeaks. I want to bury my nose in the folds of the baby’s neck and take a big sniff of that incomparable new baby smell. I want to rub my cheeks against his/her baby soft face.
The problem is, I don’t really want to do hold someone else’s baby (which I will be able to do come November with the birth of my niece or nephew). I want that baby to be mine.
Must focus on the hubby’s irritating sighing and complaints about never having enough time to accomplish anything. Another child will NOT remedy that.
I felt a little jealous as I was reading her last post before the birth of her second child. Jealous? Isn't that crazy?
I remember the anticipation before the birth of my babies. The excitement of the entire birthing process (see, you do forget the pain!). The emotion that involuntarily pours out of your body after the little one is born.
Meeting your child for the first time. Inspecting every inch of their body. Does he/she have daddy’s ears? Mommy’s eyes? The attention you get from all the well wishers who want to come congratulate you and see your newborn. The doting nurses who bring you water bottles with crushed ice (let’s just gloss over the ones that wake you at 1 am to give you another bag of antibiotics in your IV). The peri-bottle (am I the only one who didn't mind it?). That foggy state in the first few weeks when I had little appetite for anything other than a smoothie and I watched The Wedding Singer every single day.I have this very romantic recollection of it all (interesting how the NICU, c-section complications, nursing struggles, pumping, baby blues, and lack of sleep have faded from their former prominent place in my memory). Which, on one hand, is nice. Who doesn’t want good memories to pull up every now and then?
On the other hand, it’s very bad for my ovaries. It makes them ache. I get an actual physical craving for a baby. Similar to a craving for chocolate, complete with that tingle in your mouth and the extra saliva. Only, it’s worse because I really don’t want to hold a big bar of chocolate. My arms begin to feel empty and I want to fill them up with a tiny little body whose shape molds to the contours of my arms. I want to hold his/her scrunched up little body with those little legs tucked up under his/her tummy against my chest. I want to take a nap with a sleeping baby snuggled up to my neck. I want to hear his/her little grunts and squeaks. I want to bury my nose in the folds of the baby’s neck and take a big sniff of that incomparable new baby smell. I want to rub my cheeks against his/her baby soft face.The problem is, I don’t really want to do hold someone else’s baby (which I will be able to do come November with the birth of my niece or nephew). I want that baby to be mine.
Must focus on the hubby’s irritating sighing and complaints about never having enough time to accomplish anything. Another child will NOT remedy that.
5 comments:
Ah, I felt a little bit jealous too. And I need another baby right now like I need a hole in the head. But they're just soooo sweet and sooo tiny and they smell so nice and I love to watch them sleep and... I could go on and on. I hear ya!
BTW, those are two ADORABLE pictures! Your hubby looks like he's in baby bliss.
Damn ovaries is right!
I really should have recorded S when she was in her "4th trimester" and did nothing but scream, how is it possible that we look at a tiny baby and all of that frustration melts away?
Count me in, I'm jealous too.
Yep, jealous here too.
Oh I do want another baby. My husband gave in I just need to get pregnant before he changes his mind
I cried and cried last week when I gave away my baby clothes; telling yourself that there won't be another baby is one thing, packing up the clothes and thinking of someone else cuddling a baby in those clothes made me almost physically sick...an ache far worse than any part of labor and delivery, because I'm not sure that this ache will go away.
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