Who knew fatigues were so hard to explain

I haven’t been faced with many awkward conversations with my children. I know they will come. The inevitable: “How are babies made?”, “Why does Billy go to church and we don’t?”, “Is Santa real?” I figure I still have a little time to bide before those come up.

But I never anticipated how to respond to the “What is the military?” question. Without going into too many details, I work amongst military officials. In fact, they are the top leaders in the organization I work for. After I picked up the kids yesterday and headed towards the parking garage, two of them were in the hallway dressed in their military uniforms. G notices and says “who are they?” As I approach, one of them asks in a pleasant, friendly manner “what did he say?” I repeat what my son said and the men reply, “we are [insert your favorite military branch] men!” Naturally, being an inquisitive three year old, G then asks me, “what are [specific military branch] men?” I was able to distract him a bit when one of the men started serenading the kids with a military song. The entire trip in the elevator.

G continued to ask me questions about them as we separated from the men and walked to our van. I was slightly surprised at how awkward I found the whole conversation. My mind went blank on how to explain who/what they were, in terms understandable to a three year old, without references to fighting, war, bombs, or guns. How do you explain the military to your children? I brushed it off superficially with reference to their uniforms and somehow made the illogical leap to submarines. Saved for the moment, although it's only a matter of time before it comes up again.