Wednesday, October 10, 2007

One Day

Like any other weekday morning, this morning I entered my son's bedroom with the plan to wake him up and get him ready for preschool.

(Why is that he is the most sound asleep when I need him to wake him up? When it’s 5 am and I’m trying to go for a run, I carefully tiptoe around the house and try to be as quiet as possible so that I do not wake him up. I sometimes hear him thrashing around in his room, kicking the wall in his sleep, and I tense up, afraid he is going to wake up and interfere with my ability to get my run in. But sure enough, when 7:15 rolls around, he is nearly impossible to wake up.)

As I sat there, and then laid there, trying to wake him up, I couldn’t help but think about the fact that one day he will…be a man. I cuddled up next to him, took a whiff of his sweet innocent neck and thought about the fact that one day he will…smell like a man. I stroked his little arms and thought about the fact that one day he will…be hairy and tall and big. As I looked at his sleeping face, still very much a baby face, I thought about the fact that one day when I catch a glimpse of him sleeping, I won’t think “oh, look how he sweet he looks.” One day, I won’t be able to pick him up out of bed and carry him out into the living room. One day he won’t ask me if he can lay on me “like a pillow” as he tries to wake up in the morning. One day I won’t want to nibble on his cheeks or nose or ears. One day he’s going to pronounce his “Ls” correctly and no longer say “wook, mommy, it’s a train!”


I don’t want him to grow up.

6 comments:

Adventures in Baby Fat said...

I feel this way a lot with my 5-year-old and 3-year-old -- though mostly my 5-year-old since my 3-year-old is going through that "angry at the world because I can't have it my way" stage.

I can't help but think the very same thoughts you've shared. It hurts my heart to even imagine. Your post reminded me to cherish these moments. :) Thank you.

Christine said...

I've had similar thoughts cross my mind...and when you said, "One day I won’t want to nibble on his cheeks or nose or ears" I gasped a bit. How unbelievable, yet true. One thing I've found sad is that I no longer want to nibble my son's feet. When did that first happen? I dunno.

Candace said...

I told my daughter to FREEZE today and stop growing GODDAMNIT! and then I got really frustrated when she wouldn't go poopie on the potty.....

Fairly Odd Mother said...

My youngest is 3 and I think this almost every day.

But, right now it is 4:21am and my middle child is not sleeping, so I am awake---yes, at 7am, or even 8am, this morning, she will be FAST asleep while I am pouring another cup of coffee.

Jenn said...

Exactly.

Exactly.

AnotherMomCreation said...

I think this type of stuff so often I am becoming obsessed,
Just last night I looked at my oldest and couldn't help but imagine what she will look like on her wedding day. The day she swears is never coming because she's staying with me forever...
Sweet Girl....